When Dreams Turn Into Diaries

Lately, I’ve been reflecting a lot—more than usual. This blog started as a place where I could write about my dreams, my hopes, my aspirations. But slowly, almost unconsciously, it turned into something else. A diary, maybe. A quiet place to confess the parts of me I’m not proud of.

I’ve been feeling guilty—about the things I’ve said, the way I’ve acted, and how I’ve treated some people in the past. Looking back, I realize how immature I must have sounded. I’ve hurt feelings. I’ve spoken words that had no place being spoken. And for the longest time, I didn’t have anyone I could truly open up to about the things weighing on my heart. The struggles, the tiny wins, the losses that no one saw.

Sure, I have people I can turn to when things get heavy. But not in the way I need. I still find myself holding back—swallowing the thoughts that imprison me inside my own mind. It’s exhausting to navigate relationships with others when I’m still trying to make peace with myself.

If I were a celebrity, I’d probably be dragged online for my attitude. Honestly, sometimes I deserve it. I’ve never been good at controlling my mouth. I say things I shouldn’t. I share too much. I overshare. And almost always, I regret it.

That’s why I often prefer to be alone. Or at least stay quiet. Because when I speak, I tend to say things that don’t need to be said. And then I spiral—wondering if people are laughing at me, mocking me, not taking me seriously. I want to be seen as someone mature, calm, level-headed. Someone people respect and remember fondly—not as the person who lashes out at anyone they don’t like.

One moment, I feel like I’m becoming better. The next, I’m slipping again. It’s this constant push and pull, like I’m at war with myself. And it’s so, so tiring.

So if you’re lucky enough to have someone you can trust—someone you can be your full, raw self with—please cherish them. Keep them close. Because there are so many people out here, like me, still searching for that person. And in the process, sometimes we end up losing pieces of ourselves.

Drunk Thoughts at Midnight

Hey Daydreamers,

As of writing, it’s 11:39 PM. I was drunk two hours ago.

We just had a small get-together with my coworkers at this humble carinderia near our apartment. It was sponsored by our senior colleagues. If you’ve ever worked in a Japanese company and you’re surrounded by fellow Bisaya, you already know the drill—expect countless gatherings with alcohol involved. Then again, even if they’re not Bisaya, as long as your colleagues love drinking, it’s pretty much the same thing.

Tonight, we drank Alfonso Light. I’ve sworn off beer—it tastes terrible now. And as always, when I get drunk, I get loud. Like, no-filter, can’t-stop-talking loud. Doesn’t matter if you’re my coworker, friend, or boss—I’ll talk your ear off.

And yes, we were drinking with one of our Japanese bosses. But that didn’t stop me. I was still very noisy, even telling people to “get their life repaired.” (Don’t ask me where that came from—blame Alfonso.)

Alcohol has a funny way of tossing all your inhibitions out the window. Shame? Gone. Caution? Nowhere in sight. I say what I want, and I mean what I say. I honestly don’t care how people take it when it’s coming from a drunk me. Because deep down, a part of me thinks it’s okay to tell people how you truly feel—even if it comes out in a drunken rant. It’s up to them how they handle it.

But now, here I am. Half-sober, still wide awake because alcohol ruins my sleep. And yes, I still have work tomorrow. Good luck to me. Time check: it’s 12:00 midnight.

Good night, daydreamers.

Hope you all have sweet dreams.

– Justjiezza

📚 Just Dropped: The Prologue of Unseen, Until You

Hey dreamers 👁️‍🗨️✨

I’ve just released the prologue of my newest story, Unseen, Until You, and I couldn’t be more thrilled (and nervous—yep, that too). This one has been sitting quietly in the back of my mind for a while, unfolding slowly like a fogged-up window finally clearing. And now? It’s yours to read.

What’s it about?

Without giving too much away:

It’s a story of veiled truths, quiet connections, and the strange beauty of being truly seen by someone when you least expect it. Think slow-burn emotion, soft ache, and a little mystery humming beneath the surface.

If you’ve ever felt invisible—or wanted someone to notice the parts of you you keep tucked away—this story might just find you.

Read the Prologue Now →

Find it in my The Dream Shelf—the space where all the stories that come to me in the in-between live and breathe first.

Let me know your thoughts. Your DMs/comments/silent screams into the void? Always welcome.

With heart and ink,

Justjiezza

Learning the Japanese Language: A Dreamer’s Journey

 Hi Daydreamers! Konnichiwa! 🌸

Did you know I’ve been learning the Japanese language since January 2024? It’s been a beautiful, messy, and magical experience so far—a journey filled with tiny victories, quiet frustrations, and moments that feel like mental fireworks.

To be honest, I never imagined it would be this challenging. Japanese grammar? Surprisingly gentle and structured, almost like a soft guide holding your hand through a maze. But then comes the real mountain: memorization. Vocabulary slips through my fingers like petals in the wind, and don’t even get me started on kanji. Those intricate characters feel like secret codes carved into my brain—and my forgetful self isn’t exactly the best at keeping track of them!

Sometimes, I imagine all the vocab, characters, and grammar rules having a playful (or chaotic?) pillow fight in my head. It’s noisy in there—but in a way that reminds me I’m learning, growing, and pushing my limits.

I’m currently focusing on the N5 level, and with the exam approaching, there’s a gentle urgency blooming in my chest. I hope I can absorb everything I need to know, not just to pass, but to understand—to truly feel the rhythm of the language in my heart.

Japanese is more than just a goal for me. It’s part of my daydreams—my love for stories, anime, quiet forest walks, and handwritten letters tied up with ribbon. And even though it’s hard, it feels right. It feels like a language made for dreamers like us.

So, here’s to learning slowly, imperfectly, and with wonder. If you’re learning a language too, I’m cheering for you. 🌿✨ Let’s keep going, one dreamy step at a time.

Today’s Blog is Me Changing Apartment 🗝️🏡

Hello daydreamers! 🌙✨

Today’s blog is a little extra sparkly because… I’m moving into a new apartment! 🎉 Yep — boxes, bubble wrap, and all the chaos that comes with turning a blank space into something that feels like home.

It’s a whirlwind of emotions over here — excitement, nerves, exhaustion (let’s be honest 😅), and this deep, cozy feeling of new beginnings. Isn’t there just something magical about a fresh space?

📦 The Moving Madness

Okay, first things first: how do we always have more stuff than we remember?! I swear my closet multiplied overnight. But as I packed, I took time to sort through what I wanted to carry forward, and what I was ready to leave behind. And not just objects — vibes too.

This move felt like more than just a physical shift. It felt like choosing the energy I want around me — calm, light, and a little bit magical.

🌤️ The First Morning

Waking up in a new place… it’s quiet. A different kind of quiet. Like your surroundings are still whispering their secrets to you. I made my first breakfast in the new kitchen, sat on the floor with the morning light coming in, and just breathed. No furniture, no clutter — just me and the sunrise. It felt perfect.

💭 What This Move Means to Me

Moving can be stressful, yes. But it’s also a chance to reimagine your world. To shift your mindset. To say: this is where I want to grow next. And even though I’m tired and my plants are currently living out of a laundry basket… my heart feels so full.

So, here’s to new walls, new light, and new dreams. 💛

If you’re going through a change — big or small — I hope you feel the same little spark of possibility that I’m feeling now.

Until next time,

With love and lots of packing tape,

Just Jiezza